Man...

its a snow day!

YAY

there are so many things on my mind

it rained some today, when its nice like this and smells fresh

im just SO ready for spring.

im going to apologize im not going to have my comas in place or my capitalizations.

I want to move out. It would be nice to have my own place, to decorate, to clean it on my own,

to cook my own meals and what not, and not have to worry about pissing my mom off for making a mess.

i want to have my bank statements sent to me, so my mom doesnt open them and read them then get mad at me for spending the money that i earned..

Im ready to start living like im 20, when y cousin kristen was 20 she had been living on her own for a while by that time.

 

Im ready to be more of an adult. I dont care if its a lot of responsibility, i know it is. I need to grow up sometime, i just dont want to be like kristens sister lori and be 26 and still living with my mom.

College is good. I think im going to do a good job this semester

Aaron you do a great job at helping.

Thank you.

I love you

Im ready for winter to be over, i wanna be in cargo shorts, and play outside, and i want to take pictures of outside.

I want to go camping, i want to lay out under the stars.

i want to wake up in the morning and cook food outside. and sleep in a tent, and have a bonfire.

i have so many things i want to do, but right now im dealing with right now,

school, work,

blah,

im enjoying right now, but i look forward to the months to come and the years to come.

oh man.

oh hey.

this is cute

I had a moment today.

God is good.

I read all of Velvet Elvis today

Good book.

It makes you ask yourself tough questions, which in turn makes your faith grow.

Which is good also.

Im tired

Life is good.

3 words.

<3

all the dishes rattle in the cubboards when  the elephants arrive.

Praise God, for He is good.

Im a complete idiot, and Im tired.

Im blessed.

Good night.

weird

...

gargle

I think patience is key right now.

I need to be patient. Time will work itself out.

God will show mercy, and he will show answers.

"Just keep your head up."

Thats what I tell myself.

I want to move, I want to get away from Joplin, but first I need to get a firm foot through the doors of college. I need to not procrastinate, and I need to study.

I have been really anxious over the past couple days just trying to prepare myself for college again. I need to go buy some notebooks, binders, pens, paper and whatever else is needed. I need to buy more books and pay Aaron for the ones he is giving me. 

Im grateful for him by the way. I think I have seemed detached the last couple of days.

Im just tired of being at my house. I love my mom, but I hate being talked to like a little kid.

Im 20 years old, I don't know what she is going to do whenever I move out. Or when she moves.

At the same time what am I going to do.

Blarg.

I need to go to church again more, and stop slacking. I've not been pursuing Christ like I should be. Not enough anyways. I need to do more then just pray at night before I sleep. 

I need to open my heart to more people. Instead of holding up a wall that puts me off to be a huge asshole.

I need to stop cursing, I need to change so many things it feels like sometimes.

Why cant I seem to play into my life that there is nothing I can do to be good enough for heaven, or for God, or being saved.

That its scripture and faith and grace alone.

Nothing else.

AHHH..

Im just so frustrated. I've just been trying to think of ways to be a better person, and I've been overly self critical that I seem to be bringing myself down.

I need to sleep, to pray, to read my bible.

I just don't know where to start. 

Discouraged about a lot of things right now.

Frustrated at a lot of people, and myself.

I need to open my heart, my eyes. Myself.

I cant put up a wall.

I cant continue to have fear of being weak or vunerable.

Sometimes though, hiding my heart is the only think i can find myself able to do.

Only because of a complete fear of hurting it myself.

I need to stop sitting here and critisizing myself.

I need to just sleep.

Pray.

Breathe and be happy.

Have faith.

I know that God works everything out

He alone is why I am saved, there is nothing I can do to make myself worthy,

just only accept it as it is.

sorry this was so long

Paz and Love.

Dianna

my new years

Im hoping that 08 is a great year.

07 ended well, and 08 started awesome too.

I spent the weekend with Aaron and his family, and his awesome niece.

I didn't need to be a stupid party, or around tons of people.

Being with him and his family make me very happy.

I get myspace back in a week.

Im going to delete TONS of people. Im going to feel bad deleting lots of people I know, but I don't want tons of people on my friends list and I don't even really care that much about getting

 back on.

Note: typing with acrylic nails is kinda hard.  I keep having typos.

anyways.

I have things that I hope for.

Im really tired.

and I had a great new years and I took tons of photos

lots.